The Mantis Incident

Some of the most unfortunate days of the year are the ones you spend performing tasks in the yard – a fenced rectangle of shrubs, grass, insects, and airborne allergens. Always green, always itchy.

All of the tasks are time consuming, often tedius, always injurious. There is no reward for performing these tasks. They are inevitable. You know what’s about to happen and you dread it. Like that time you ate too much Mexican food.

This is part of the joy of owning a home in Florida.

So distasteful is the Florida heat and so prolific are the insects of the summer months (which in Florida stretch from March until December) that you can only attempt such work when the temperature drops to and remains below 65 degrees fahrenheit. And then you undertake these chores with the greatest angst, dread, and distaste.

Please avoid mentioning the praying mantis incident.

It was less than flattering.

More articles in the Archive →