The Great Outdoors

Perhaps the best way for the Domesticated Man to embrace and celebrate the American Spirit is to engage in the consumption of a large cow.

Ideally, the cow has been ground up into bits, molded into an over-large patty, char-grilled, and served up on a toasted bun adjacent to a heaping pile of fries.

Generally speaking and whenever possible, the Domesticated Man should avoid direct contact with unprepared food of any kind, even on holidays and vacations. No fun can be had while grilling, especially when there are mosquitos, heat, or humidity to contend with. It’s a filthy business, and no matter the effort, the results never quite measure up.

And you know, nobody is taking that apron seriously.

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