Snap Brim

You’re watching an old movie and reminded of a time when things were simple. Men wore hats. Everybody could dance. If a group of three or more men happened to form, cigars would be instinctively lit (indoors, even) and scotch (straight up) would pour.

Today, a man can no longer wear a hat in public. This is nearly written law, and you are paying the price.

When you think of a hat, don’t get confused. Don’t accidentally imagine the fabric-and-visor cap young children wear when swinging bats at baseballs.

Gentlemen’s hats! Think fedora: Teardrop shaped, pinched crown. Snap brim. Names like Borsalino. Felt, wool. Made in Italy. Bogart. Satin lining. Colors? Think black, mink, charcoal, ash. Perhaps camel. Side pin and feather. Now you see.

These hats, this valuable tradition, all of it: lost! Hats simply can no longer be worn. And those in power over fashion – be warned! You deserve and shall receive your comeuppance. The time is nigh.

An important note:

I forbid you, Reader, to think for a moment that at any time something called a Planters Style hat is acceptable attire for any occasion. This bastardized head-cover with pencil roll and wide brim is an embarrasment. If you see one (either in a store window or worse, on one’s head), ignore it. Keep moving. Your sense of style and decency will thank you.

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