INCIDENT 1: A Man with shaved head, goatee, and sunglasses (ghetto-style!) pulls up next to your car at stop-light.
YOU: Isn’t that … on the guy’s dashboard …
WIFE: (leans forward to see) A picture of … himself?
YOU: Doesn’t it seem odd to have a picture of yourself next to the speedometer?
WIFE: (laughing) Yes!
YOU: I suppose that now, as he rolls-up, he doesn’t have to wonder how good he looks. He can just glance down and say to himself … “Aww yeah!”
INCIDENT 2: A Blonde woman in a Surburban is trying to fit into the small parking-spot between two cars. Her rear tire rubs against the white bumper and side-panel of the new Camry in the spot next to her. A loud, shrill, rubbery sound can be heard.
She glances back, throws it in reverse. The sound grows louder. The damage to the Camry increases. A crispy, crunchy sound now accompanies the shrill, rubbery sound. A child’s baloon bounces from left to right in the rear of the vehicle.
She throws it in drive again. The noise gets louder. The Camry leans toward the Surburban.
YOU: (walking by) I think you’ve hit that car.
HER: (irritated) Yeah.
Moments later, the Surburban races past you (too quickly to get the plate) white streaks along its the rear wheel-well and tire, across the parking lot and away from the area.
INCIDENT 3: At home, you begin to prepare a tuna sand-wich. The instant you pull the tab on the can, several animals appear in the kitchen.
YOU: I suppose you want some of this.
FIRST CAT: (stares at can silently, body motionless, eyes wide)
SECOND CAT: (begins pacing from one end of kitchen to the other, crying loudly)
FIRST CAT: (continues to stare with growing excitement)
SECOND CAT: (begins pressing against your legs, crying loudly)
YOU: So you’re saying you’d like some tuna, then?
FIRST CAT: Well isn’t it obvious?
YOU: I suppose so, yes.