- When being tested on programming skills and experience, all examination questions will involve the programming language with which you are least familiar and which has the most obscure and tedious online documentation.
- When you’re running late or in a rush, the car in front of you will be an unpainted, rusted, shuddering, exaust spewing 1981 Caprice Classic complete with peeling window-tint and confederate-flag bumper-sticker, piloted by a cigarette toking, sunglasses wearing, mullet-flaunting hillbilly with his elbow poking out the window. His constant weaving between lanes will make passing an impossibility.
- The more disheveled or greasy Johnny Depp looks in a movie, the more appealing he will be to women. Evidence: Johnny as a Gypsy. Johnny as a drifter.
- When downloading the 584mb Oracle 8i installation package and with less than 1mb remaining, the corporate internet connection will drop and remain offline for several hours.
- The least amount of sleep you manage to get, the higher the probability you will run out of coffee the following morning. Berating the decanter will have little effect.
- When going to buy coffee at the Starbucks in the recherche section of town on the way to the 8:00am meeting, there will be road construction and parking will be non-existent.
- When trying to find a parking spot or a shortcut back to the main drag, you will make a wrong turn down a one-way side-street where you will wind up behind an idling fire-truck which will block all passage. Slamming into reverse will be impossible because of the 1981 Caprice Classic that has turned in behind you. Unbelievably, there is a always a chance that this will happen twice in one morning.